How to Argue Better: A Guide to Productive Conflict

A Guide to Productive Conflict

Conflict is a normal part of life. It can even be useful. But, how do you handle conflict in the best way? Many arguments lead to frustration. They can feel impossible to solve. This guide will help you understand how to argue better. It will give you keys to having more productive talks.

Why We Argue

Arguments often become emotional. This is especially true when talking about politics. People fall into what is called a “tribal trap.” In this trap, people reject anything the other side says. They try to prove they are right and the other side is wrong. (Before Your Next Fight, Read This)

The problem is not always what we argue about. It is how we argue. To have better talks, there are three main things to know:

  1. Identity
  2. Appreciation
  3. Affiliation

Identity: Understanding Your Core Values

Arguments can become emotional because they touch on our identity. Identity includes our core values and beliefs. When these feel threatened, strong emotions arise.

Suddenly, your pride and sense of self are on the line. To handle this, you need to know who you are and what you believe. Ask yourself:

  • What values drive me to fight for my view?
  • What beliefs do I hold dear?

When you understand yourself, you can stay calm even when others challenge your values.

Appreciation: Listening to Understand

Each person wants to feel appreciated. Yet, often, the last thing they want to do is appreciate the other side. This is a problem.

Instead of talking, listen. Take time to hear the other side. Try to understand their point of view. Ask yourself:

  • What is the value behind their view?
  • What is the logic and reason for their beliefs?
  • Why do they feel this way about important topics?

When you truly understand their view, let them know. Show them that you hear where they are coming from. Tell them that their view makes sense. Feeling appreciated can make a big difference.

Affiliation: Finding Common Ground

Affiliation is about the emotional connection between you and the other person. Often, we see arguments as “me versus you.” This leads to butting heads.

Instead, try to find common ground. Turn the other person from an enemy into a partner. Change the argument from “me versus you” to “us facing a shared problem.”

Ask for their advice. Find out how you can meet as many needs as possible together. Change the way you talk.

A Revolution of Understanding

Using these three ideas can change your relationships. What if we started a revolution? A revolution of greater:

  • Understanding
  • Appreciation
  • Affiliation

We could change how we talk about politics. We could change our country and even the world. It starts with each of us.

Achieving a mutual understanding

Ready to Transform Your Arguments?

Start by understanding your own values. Then, listen to others with an open mind. Find common ground. By doing these things, you can have more productive and meaningful conversations. What steps will you take today to improve your arguments?

Uncover further inspiration in our blog.

Facebook
X
Pinterest
WhatsApp
Telegram
Picture of Aveline Lux

Aveline Lux

Aveline Lux is a visionary writer and digital storyteller, using her blog on CitiWell Shop as a platform to explore the intersection of creativity, commerce, and culture.

Traveling extensively across continents, Aveline draws inspiration from different cultures and global trends, infusing her articles with unique perspectives and practical insights.

Aveline enjoys photography, hiking through nature trails, and curating playlists that fuel her creative process.

Top Collagen Supplement Brands for Glowing Skin & Strong Joints

Collagen keeps skin plump, joints flexible, and hair strong—but our bodies make less of it after 25. Top Collagen Supplement Brands for Glowing Skin & Strong Joints highlights trusted labels that deliver high-quality collagen, with clear ingredients and real results. Whether you want to boost skin elasticity, ease joint pain, or thicken

Read More »

Top Scalp Care & Anti-Hair Loss Brands to Trust

Scalp health is key to preventing hair loss—dull, oily, or irritated scalps often lead to thinning hair over time. Top Scalp Care & Anti-Hair Loss Brands to Trust highlights reliable labels that target root causes: from clogged follicles to weak hair strands. Whether you’re dealing with mild shedding or early balding, Top Scalp

Read More »

Top British Beer Brands You Need to Try

British beer is a cornerstone of UK culture—from creamy stouts in London pubs to hoppy IPAs in Manchester breweries. Top British Beer Brands You Need to Try spotlights iconic labels and their star products, breaking down ingredients, tastes, pros and cons, and official links. Whether you’re a beer novice or a craft

Read More »

Essential Household Appliances for New Immigrants in the UK

Moving to the UK means adapting to new daily routines—and having the right household appliances makes this transition smooth. Essential Household Appliances for New Immigrants in the UK highlights the must-have items tailored to British living, including cutting-edge AI-powered devices that simplify life, save energy, and enhance convenience. Whether you’re renting a

Read More »

Best Homemade Herbal Teas for Weight Management

Homemade herbal teas offer a natural, sugar-free way to support weight management—no artificial additives or hidden calories. Best Homemade Herbal Teas for Weight Management shares easy, affordable recipes you can whip up in minutes. These teas boost metabolism, curb cravings, and aid digestion, making them perfect for daily routines. Whether you prefer

Read More »