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Conflict is a normal part of life. It can even be useful. But, how do you handle conflict in the best way? Many arguments lead to frustration. They can feel impossible to solve. This guide will help you understand how to argue better. It will give you keys to having more productive talks.
Arguments often become emotional. This is especially true when talking about politics. People fall into what is called a “tribal trap.” In this trap, people reject anything the other side says. They try to prove they are right and the other side is wrong. (Before Your Next Fight, Read This)
The problem is not always what we argue about. It is how we argue. To have better talks, there are three main things to know:
Arguments can become emotional because they touch on our identity. Identity includes our core values and beliefs. When these feel threatened, strong emotions arise.
Suddenly, your pride and sense of self are on the line. To handle this, you need to know who you are and what you believe. Ask yourself:
When you understand yourself, you can stay calm even when others challenge your values.
Each person wants to feel appreciated. Yet, often, the last thing they want to do is appreciate the other side. This is a problem.
Instead of talking, listen. Take time to hear the other side. Try to understand their point of view. Ask yourself:
When you truly understand their view, let them know. Show them that you hear where they are coming from. Tell them that their view makes sense. Feeling appreciated can make a big difference.
Affiliation is about the emotional connection between you and the other person. Often, we see arguments as “me versus you.” This leads to butting heads.
Instead, try to find common ground. Turn the other person from an enemy into a partner. Change the argument from “me versus you” to “us facing a shared problem.”
Ask for their advice. Find out how you can meet as many needs as possible together. Change the way you talk.
Using these three ideas can change your relationships. What if we started a revolution? A revolution of greater:
We could change how we talk about politics. We could change our country and even the world. It starts with each of us.
Achieving a mutual understanding
Start by understanding your own values. Then, listen to others with an open mind. Find common ground. By doing these things, you can have more productive and meaningful conversations. What steps will you take today to improve your arguments?
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Aveline Lux is a visionary writer and digital storyteller, using her blog on CitiWell Shop as a platform to explore the intersection of creativity, commerce, and culture.
Traveling extensively across continents, Aveline draws inspiration from different cultures and global trends, infusing her articles with unique perspectives and practical insights.
Aveline enjoys photography, hiking through nature trails, and curating playlists that fuel her creative process.
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