The ‘Let Them Theory’: Your Key to a Peaceful Life

Do you ever feel like you’re fighting to control everything around you? What if there was a simple trick to find more peace and happiness? The ‘Let Them Theory’ might be the answer you’ve been looking for.

What is the ‘Let Them Theory’?

The ‘Let Them Theory’ is about letting go of the need to control other people and situations. It’s about accepting that you can’t force others to do what you want. Instead, you let them be themselves.

This theory can help you:

• Release stress and worry.
• Improve your relationships.
• Focus on what you can control: yourself.

How the ‘Let Them Theory’ Works

The ‘Let Them Theory’ is very simple to understand, but requires constant practice to put into effect. You can use this theory in almost every aspect of life. Let’s explore how it works.

A Real-Life Example

Imagine this: A mom is used to planning every detail of her daughter’s prom. But, her son is going to prom in a new town with new people. The mom starts to worry about the plans. She wants to control everything to make sure it’s perfect.

Then, her daughter says, “Mom, if they want to go to that place, let them. It’s his prom, not yours.”

In that moment, the mom realizes she needs to let go. She needs to stop trying to control everything and let her son enjoy his prom.

The Downstream Boat Metaphor

A psychologist, Dr. Amy Johnson, explains our need to control using a boat metaphor. When you try to control things, imagine you are in a tiny boat, paddling upstream. It’s hard work, and you’re fighting against the current.

But when you let go and surrender, it’s like dropping the oars. The boat turns around and floats downstream. You go with the flow, creating peace and ease for yourself.

Why Do We Try to Control?

We try to control things for a few reasons:

• Anxiety: We worry about things going wrong.
• Love: We think we’re helping others by micromanaging them.
• Distraction: Focusing on others keeps us from facing our own problems.

Sometimes we are uncomfortable with uncertainty, so we jump in and try to control everything around us. The “Let Them Theory” helps us deal with these feelings.

The Three Times ‘Let Them’ Doesn’t Apply

Before we look at the 3 ways to use ‘Let Them Theory’, we must first understand when we shouldn’t use ‘Let Them’. There are some times when you should not ‘Let Them’. Here are a few of those times:

• Danger: If someone is doing something dangerous, step in.
• Discrimination: If someone is discriminating against you, stand up for yourself.
• Boundaries: If someone is crossing your boundaries, hold your ground.

Three Ways to Use the ‘Let Them Theory’

Now that we know some boundaries of the theory, we can begin to apply it in our lives. Here are three specific ways to use this theory:

1. Detachment

Use the ‘Let Them Theory’ to detach from the struggle you feel when you worry about what others are doing. Tap into emotional peace.

Instead of feeling hurt or angry, let them. It’s their life, let them do what they need to do. This is a form of radical acceptance.

For example: You go to a wedding, and all your friends are at a different table than you. Instead of being upset, let them. Let the bride and groom do what they want.

2. Letting People Fail

Take a step back and let people fail. Give them room to grow and learn.

For example: If your child forgets their lunch, don’t bring it to them. Let them learn the consequence of forgetting. It’s in the forgetting that they learn to remember.

Important note: If you always rescue people, you are teaching them that they are not able to rescue themselves. You are robbing them of the chance to grow.

3. Letting People Be Themselves

Let the people in your life be who they are. Stop trying to change them.

Ask yourself: Am I in a relationship with the person as they are, or with who I wish they were?

If you are always griping about what you wish they would change, you are not letting them be themselves. You’re focused on the things you don’t like.

Give people the freedom to be themselves. This allows you to see who they really are. Then, you can decide if that’s someone you want to be with.

The Importance of Love

Jealousy is an attempt to control other people.

If you want more love, let them do what they’re going to do. By letting go, you accept what is, and you’re showing them that you love them as they are. It is an act of love to let people do what makes them feel good.

Three Quick Tools

Here are three quick tools to apply the ‘Let Them Theory’ to your life:

1. Ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?”
2. Ask yourself, “Whose business am I in?” Am I in my business, or their business?
3. Ask yourself, “What feels more like peace?” Always move toward peace.

Conclusion

The ‘Let Them Theory’ is a powerful way to create more peace and happiness in your life. It’s about letting go of control, accepting others, and focusing on yourself. Try using the ‘Let Them Theory’ today and see how it can change your life!